Bloody Hell

In the last seven days, I have done two exams, one report, one group meeting and four three-hour lectures. In the month to come, I will give three presentations, write three reports and sit three exams. Strangely, I kind of enjoy all the tension and deadlines. And I have become very competitive - so competitive that today, when I got my grades for two previous assignments, I felt disappointed at myself for merely getting 80% for both of them (last night's quiz I got 90%, class average is 60%). I don't want above-average grades, I want to be well above average. I want full marks. I have become cocky and too confident.

Funny I was never a 'good student' throughout my life - until I became a post grad. I suddently became focused and motivated. And I wonder why.

Tonight's lecture is about sequential game theory. But let me be lazy. Today I don't wanna study.

Doctor writer Atul Gawande had a new piece in New Yorker. It took me days to read it, because it is simply too depressing to read.

“Mainstream doctors are turned off by geriatrics, and that’s because they do not have the faculties to cope with the Old Crock,” Felix Silverstone, the geriatrician, explained to me. “The Old Crock is deaf. The Old Crock has poor vision. The Old Crock’s memory might be somewhat impaired. With the Old Crock, you have to slow down, because he asks you to repeat what you are saying or asking. And the Old Crock doesn’t just have a chief complaint—the Old Crock has fifteen chief complaints. How in the world are you going to cope with all of them? You’re overwhelmed. Besides, he’s had a number of these things for fifty years or so. You’re not going to cure something he’s had for fifty years. He has high blood pressure. He has diabetes. He has arthritis. There’s nothing glamorous about taking care of any of those things.”

Note to myself:

1. Invest heavily on superannuation.
2. Insist on seeing a Geriatrician when I get old.

I am tired of Sydney. It is different than what I remembered it as.

I am tired of telling the kids at the library to shut up.

I am tired of USYD, it sucks.

I am tired of managing two groups, trying to get people do their work.

I am tired of this blog, I don't know what to write.

and sometimes I feel like crap

but

I walk through the park to uni everyday, there are two black swans at the little pond, they are beautiful.

I get to borrow and read as many books as I wish (post grad!) and I can request interlibrary loans and once they had to get a book from the National Library in Canberra for me!

It is autumn now and the fallen maple leaves are everywhere, when nobody is looking, I step on the dried leaves and listen to the cracking sound.

I do get a sense of reward when people compliment me for my work.

and sometimes I think I am amazing.

Every Chinese should read this book.

While one may quarrel with the precision of these stories, it is undisputable that Mao was the worst thing that ever happend to China and Chinese people.

Chang and Halliday are convinced that to Mao, the Chinese people are no more than leverage to his power and status. The Chinese could afford to die. In the book, Mao was quoted as saying:

"Let's contemplate this, how many people would die if war breaks out. There are 2.7 billion people in the world. One-third could be lost; or, a little more, it could be half... I say that, taking the extreme situation, half dies, half lives, but imperialism would be razed to the ground and the whole world would become socialist."

"For our ultimate victory, for the total radication of the imperialists, we [i.e. the Chinese people, who had not been consulted] are willing to endure the first [US nuclear] strike. All it is is a big pile of people dying."

"America's atom bombs are too few to wipe out the Chinese."

During the famine that bursted out in China from 1958 to 1961, at least 30 million people died. Why? Because the scarce wheat and grain squeezed out of the people's mouths were exported in exchange for Russians' help to build nuclear submarines. When people reported to him that nationwide people were dying of starvation, Mao said:

"What are we going to do as there isn't enough food to eat? No worse than eat less... Oriental style... It's good for health."

"I think it's good to eat less. What's the point of eating a lot and growing a big stomach, like the foreign capitalists in cartoon?"

"We are prepared to sarifice 300 million Chinese for the victory of the world revolution." (Half of the Chinese population then)

"Don't make a fuss about a world war. At most, people die... Half the population wiped out - this happened quite a few times in Chinese history"

Judge for yourself.

Last Saturday, after my friends and I watched The Lives of Others, the issue of education came up during dinner. It was kinda unavoidable: three out of four friends recently enrolled in a Master's degree at either UNSW or USYD. One of us, a manager at KPMG, is doing it because her boss wants her to; Another, a film professor at UNSW, is resuming Law School again after discontinuing it in undergraduate; and I am doing it to change career.

A few Highlights from that night's discussion:

1. Highly intelligent people do exist: the professor is teaching full-time, and studying full-time, taking 5 units of studies this semester. ( I am only taking 4, and I am not doing anything else) When we asked her how she manages it, she casually said:"Oh, I just have to work harder."

2. Tuition's too high: to complete a double degree at the new Medicine School at UNSW, you need $ 370,000 Australian dollars (For a local student)

3. While Australia spends billions of dollars on the Iraq war, education funding is being cut, and international students are herded like cash cows.

4. Something we long suspected has been proved true: the international student office encourages lecturers to pass international students even when they should fail.

5. USYD courses too theoretical (read: useless). My Management Communication class focuses too much on boring academia readings instead of real world scenarios. The lecturer is a linguist who's never worked in a company. This class sucks.

inspiration

All I see is *this, *that

I have some kind of mental illness, internet addiction, perhaps.

I first heard about MindMeister this morning, and now I am already using it to create online mindmaps.

The first map I did is Macroeconomics, it's not finished obviously. I just wanna see if it works.

Like the early Gmail, MindMeister is by invitation only (don't ask me how I got mine), gimme a yell if you want one.

You are particularly welcome if you are willing to collaborate with me on the two mindmaps I have, macroeconomics and, Globalisation and the Nation-state.

I know, I am not cool. -_-

JAL Beijing - Tokyo
Unagi Rice, Cold Soba Noodle, Creamy Pasta with Peppered Beef and Proscuitto, Green Tea Mousse Cake


Detail: Cold Soba Noodle, amazing simplicity


JAL Tokyo - Sydney
Penne Anchovy Tomato, Salmon, Green Salad, Chestut Profiterole


JAL Tokyo - Sydney
Pie(?), Yogurt, KitKat

Australia


Japan

 
Ever tried to master Macroeconomics in 3 weeks? 3 hours per week, that is.